Monday, January 16, 2006

Season 5; Hour Two (8:00 AM - 9:00 AM)

Air Date: 15 May 06
Reviewer: J

Hey, nice to see you. I feel like we just were talking about Hour One and here we are on to Hour Two. I guess this is what happens when you get a month’s worth of 24 in two nights. The downside is that it’s like crack (the drug, not the one in your pants); the following week, when you only get one hour, it’s saddening and it absolutely blows by. Oh well. I’ll still take it. This is so much fun.

We plow into Hour Two with Jack being set up to take the fall yet again. Hasn’t anyone at CTU learned that Jack’s never the bad guy? Audrey Raines is back in the mix, at CTU for the day serving as some sort of DoD liaison with CTU for the President’s summit. Speaking of the President and staff, what’s the deal with Keeler? Is he still alive but bedridden? Is he dead? Is Logan the President for good? And if so, would he maybe appoint new staff? Who knows. More importantly, who cares. I need to stop applying logic to this show.

Anyway, Edgar Styles, who is more than a little pissed that someone besides him is nailing Chloe since he’s certainly absorbed the brunt of her abuse, has uncovered security footage from the building Palmer was shot from. It shows Jack’s mug. Buchanan, naturally, immediately tells everyone that Jack Bauer is their prime suspect. Yes, of course, Bill, that makes sense. Doesn’t anyone question the fact that this is all just a bit too neat and easy? Christ, Edgar cracked the mystery? And nobody is questioning this? Well, not nobody. Grudgingly, I will admit that Audrey is the only one at CTU making any sense and she doesn’t even work there. Not a good omen for CTU.

Early this hour we’re introduced to a baddie further up the chain who appears to be holed up in a room with little illumination but with multiple flatscreen TVs. Perhaps he’s doing his baddie-business from the theater at his local Best Buy. Who knows. Anyway, his name, according to Fox, is Nathanson. I’m sure this will eventually be relevant and will go into the annals with Drazen, Gaines, Saunders, Myers, and Marwan. Nathanson does give us a couple of nuggets, though, one of which is that it’s good to let Bauer be brought in by CTU because they can then eliminate him there. Yeah, that worked really well last season, didn’t it, smart-ass? What it does tell us, though, is that there’s yet another mole at CTU. We also learn that some sort of “launch” is commencing within the hour. Oh, lord, not another missile, I hope.

Chloe, Jack and Derek ride in the badguy van to Wayne Palmer’s apartment building. Chloe flashes her CTU ID and is let through the closed off perimeter. The cop who let her through scans the list (of handwritten names) to confirm she should be there. I think everyone was distracted by the way he gave the suspicious-looking van such a cursory exam and failed to notice that he checked a handwritten list for Chloe’s name and… apparently found it. Wait, what? How is that possible? Was it actually a list of people who were missing? How the hell did Chloe get on this list? Unless it said “Anyone from CTU.” But I doubt that.

As they pull into the garage, they park near a gorgeous Mercedes coupe parked taking up multiple spots. Just like an owner of that pretentious car would park. It’s probably Wayne’s car. Jack finds earbuds that he and Chloe tuck into their ears to communicate with one another and Chloe connects to a server remotely from the van (apparently from one of their laptops?) and is able to tap into CTU. Good to see how secure CTU is – no wonder there are info leaks. Plus she does all this from a parking garage while I have trouble with my wireless internet from one room to another. Jack goes and accosts an FBI guy to obtain his jacket and credentials. It’s not clear whether Jack kills the agent and while I wouldn’t normally think he would, he’s become rather cavalier about murder. It’s at this point that Chloe opines to Derek, “Don’t worry, he’s really good at this.” Good at what? Getting into situations that require an act of god to get out of? Hey, Jack, don’t forget that David Palmer is dead so you won’t be able to lean on him for support any longer. Also, I’m not sure Derek’s worried at all – he’s sort of there against his will so, you know, he might not give a shit, Chloe.

As Jack works his way into the apartment building, I find it entertaining that Chloe is able to track all the agents, informing Jack that there are 167 in the area, or something to that effect. Do they implant tracking devices in all agents skulls when you get your badge? Or are we assuming it’s just the earbud transmitter? Hard to say.


Anyway, Jack works his way into a private study that is unoccupied by any of the 167 agents on the scene. How fortuitous! As Jack-o is pawing through David Palmer’s personal files (on a computer in Wayne’s apartment – huh?), Wayne strolls in and is accosted by Jack. Jack holds his gun to Wayne’s nose (Wayne is noticeably bigger than Jack) and Wayne accusing Jack of killing David. Jack’s way to convince Wayne that he wasn’t the killer is to give Wayne his gun. Wayne trains it on Jack and clearly considers killing him. Interesting tactic, Jack. How come everyone else gets knocked unconscious but Wayne gets a firearm? And Wayne? The smarty money move at this point is to walk to the door and get secret service. But no, Wayne relents and helps Jack. Together, they eventually discover in an encrypted file that Palmer had hidden a name and an address, which is that of Ontario Airport. Not Ontario, Canada.

My question is why would he encrypt this information? In case he got killed, he didn’t want anyone else to stumble across it? Never mind that it took Jack perhaps an hour to get to it. Also, I paused the Tivo and read some of the “memoirs.” They include a story about “taking time off” at the suggestion of Mike Novick and a line about Sherry that included “I knew at this point that divorce was inevitable.” Really? Wow, peel an onion, huh? So all that Season One baloney about not trusting her anymore was just his excuse to kick her to the curb, after all.

Back at CTU, Edgar is making himself useful and locates Chloe based on the fact that she’s logged in remotely. How did he know this? He gave Spenser her login to use her clearance to do something technical. Wait, Edgar just knows Chloe’s login off the top of this head? Again, no wonder there are info leaks at CTU. Sheesh.

Anyway, Buchanan calls Secret Service and figures Jack must be there, too. Jack and Chloe realize the po-po are onto them and devise a sneaky plan in which Chloe drives the van out and is captured, while Jack and Derek teleport to a nearby neighborhood with plenty of cars to steal. Seriously, I’m not sure how they got out of the heavily guarded garage, but they did. And what does Jack steal? A Ford Contour. Christ, Jack, wasn’t there a Cadillac around somewhere?

On the way to the airport, Jack tells Diane to dribble off those Bobby Brooks and do what I please. No, wait, he actually says she should meet them at the airport. At this point, Diane is thinking “What the fuck is this guy doing? He’s nuts! I’m screwing a nut case!”

Over at the Presidential retreat, Logan at this point shares with his wife that Walt has tracked down the tape of the call, which Logan shares with Mrs. Logan. It contains David Palmer saying something about having to talk to Martha and that “It’s not a matter of national security or anything…” Oops, Martha. Take your damn pills. Logan is now further convinced that she’s driving the looney tunes bus and he asks he to get her shit together and help him greet the Russian president and first lady, who are due to arrive soon.

It appears that our buddy Nathanson is intending to hit the Russian prez helicopter, as another assembled group of henchmen is preparing for a strike. Of course, it’s all a ruse as we see that they’re at the Ontario Airport. As is Jack. He has handed over Derek back to his mother and he tells them the truth about his real name and that they should go to CTU. Yeah, because that always works out.

Of course, as they’re driving through that loading/unloading area of the airport, a traffic cop makes them stop and Derek notices the henchmen piling out of a fishy-looking box truck with a curtain on the back. Yeah, that’s not sketchy or anything. Even Derek can see this doesn’t look good, but the traffic cop is simply worried about traffic flow and refuses to bother the driver of the truck because he might just be picking up someone from the airport and you can park there for five minutes. No, okay, none of that is true but Derek does think something is odd and he runs off to “warn Jack.” Poor judgment call #3. Wow, that’s three in two hours, Derek. And I’m not being particularly critical yet.

Naturally, the shit completely hits the fan in the airport. Jack finds the guy whose name was in Palmer’s encrypted file but they guy takes a cyanide pill and croaks. Oh, that’s so tired, dude; find a new way to kill yourself.

At the same time, the baddies from the box truck blow it up, startling everyone, including Diane who is still trying to find the hourly parking area so she can chase after her dipshit son. The would-be terrorists shoot a couple of security guards (and hey, who among us hasn’t wanted to shoot a TSA guard in our travels?) and then proceed to tell everyone that if all goes according to plan, “no one will be hurt.” Uh, I think that horse left the barn when you shot the guys who read the x-ray screen. Kind of hurts your credibility.

Derek tries to nonchalantly walk away as people are scattering everywhere and diving to the ground. He does everything but whistle that doo-dee-do-dee-do whistle that we all do when we’re pretending something’s not a big deal. Sadly, the terrorists are too quick for his shenanigans and force him to the ground. Probably should have just shot him, guys.

Our first twist with regard to moles is revealed at the end of this hour. Nathanson is seen on the phone confirming that the airport hostages “have been secured.” (Were they insecure? “No, you’re the best hostages, ever. I swear.”) On the other end of the phone is none other than Walt Cummings, who exposits for us that he doctored the audio file of Palmer's call to Martha Logan. Oh, Walt, you're wiley with technology. Of course, this would carry more weight if Walt had been a character for longer than he has been. However, he’s been a bastard since we’ve first seen him so it’s not all that surprising. It is, however, surprising that a member of the President’s security detail is part of a conspiracy like this. If it turns out to be some convoluted “We had to show how important our American security and weaponry is so we set this up to prove it to the Russians” bullshit, I’m going to be irritated.


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2 Comments:

Blogger Phoenician said...

You accidently double posted!!

Just go where you would compose and edit and their should be a delete button. Delete one of the reviews for Hour 2 - preferably the one without comments!

Great reviews, both of them.

Derek's making bad decisions, but he grows on you, you know?

I loved Palmer and Michelle - I'll be mourning over them for weeks.

2:17 AM  
Blogger J Money said...

Hmmm, not sure how that happened but I'm a spaz so that could be how. Thanks for the heads-up.

10:50 AM  

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