Season 6; Hour Fifteen (8:00PM - 9:00PM)
Air Date: 26 Mar 2007
Reviewer: J
Yes, yes, I’ve gone missing for a couple of weeks. Well, I’m back now and you get a double-dip of my witticisms this week. What can I say? Work life intervened with play life and as a result you didn’t get a review last week. Alternatively, we can blame D for this since he doesn’t work here anymore anyway. Just think of me and D as Palmer and Daniels. I’ll let you all decide who’s who.
But on to Hour Fifteen, from two weeks ago. There were some things in this hour that kind of pissed me off, though they had their virtues, which leaves me kind of torn. I’m of course talking about Rain Man Brady, but we’ll get to him.
In case you forgot, the previouslies show us how Gredenko and Fayed launched the drone plane that Jack managed to crash-land on the outskirts of San Francisco only to have the local firemen exposed to radiation. Well, as we roll into the eight o’clock hour, Gredenko and Fayed are beginning to wonder if something’s gone awry or if Google Maps was inaccurate in just how far away San Francisco actually is. There’s a standoff between the two that’s supposed to be intense and Gredenko goads Fayed about killing him when he still needs him. I’m sure this is supposed to make me think…something. But it just reminds me that both these guys are unlikable and they seem to trade episodes taking turns as to who is really in charge. They both blame each other for things going wrong and both seem to be right sometimes. Meh.
At the site of the drone pilot’s final minutes, Jack gets on the horn to Buchanan and learns that VP Daniels is planning to nuke the as yet unnamed Middle Eastern country in retaliation. For Jack’s shitty landing? That’s not really fair. Jack acts like Daniels is all nuts for using this level of force. I guess that’s fair. When compared to nuclear bombs, cutting off people’s fingers is considerably less drastic and has less collateral damage.
Buchanan basically tells Jack that he figures they need to wrap this thing up by finding Gredenko and/or Fayed before the nuke attack happens. And when is that? By the end of the hour. Well, what the hell would I do for the next nine hours, then? Review episodes showing Jack on the phone with CTU HR trying to collect backpay?
Gredenko, too, is back on the horn again and calls a new character, a scruffy thirtysomething dude named Mark Hauser. Good thing his name isn’t Maxwell. Gredenko wants better “security specs” than the ones Hauser already provided. Huh? Okay. Gredenko says he’s coming to Hauser’s house (the Hauser House?) to get the specs in about 40 minutes. Hauser goes to the kitchen where his brother Brady announces, “I hungry!” Oh, outstanding. We’re out of ideas so instead of an unwilling civilian being forced to play along with CTU, now we’re going to have a retarded civilian playing along. These are the moments when I think the writing staff are truly running out of ideas.
Anyway, Brady is Rain Man when it comes to breaking into Mark’s employer and stealing stuff so Mark dispatches him to do that while he improves the crap-ass meal he was making for Brady. Oh, the meal? Scrambled eggs with red peppers in them. Yuck. Brady says he doesn’t want the red peppers. I’m with you, Brady. He also says he doesn’t eat red food, but does no elaborate. I’d test Rain Man here by offering him some Swedish Fish and Jolly Ranchers.
Back at CTU, we see that Milo is spending yet another episode pensively watching Nadia in the interrogation room. Is he hoping she forgets the cameras are there and starts disrobing like the scene in American Pie? Her name was Nadia, too, let’s not forget. Bill interrupts Milo’s daydream (and mine) to tell him Nadia “being processed as an enemy combatant.” Whatever. We all know she’s too hot to be guilty.
At the same time, Chloe has fortuitously caught one of those CTU breaks. Good thing, too, cause things were looking bleak and Milo had nothing to do but stare at Nadia. Anyway, Chloe has intercepted Gredenko’s call to Hauser and has his address by pulling up his drivers license. How come whenever I see a California driver’s license on TV or movies, the person’s picture always looks like a professional head shot? They’re always sort of angled to the side whereas every other state I’ve seen has you looking straight ahead. I’ve held New Jersey and New York driver’s licenses and they looked like… well, licenses. But I guess California is different.
Another interesting tidbit I noted was the dating on Hauser’s license. It has him born in 1982 and the license expiring in 2014, if I’m not mistaken (which I could be since I don’t have the hour cued up in front of me as I write this). So we are indeed in around 2012 as has been widely reported. It also makes Hauser about 30 years old. Which is interesting when Chloe later pulls up his employment history and we see he had job listings back in 1997…when he was about 15. Must have been precocious. Nice work, continuity department. If I can spot things like this on one or two viewings, I would think someone working on the set might be able to pay attention to them. Especially seeing as how this show has a predominant focus on, you know, timing.
Buchanan orders Jack’s team to the address. Meanwhile, a new tech guy names Johnson calls Doyle over to show him a chip he found that, in a nutshell, exonerates Nadia. The baddies hacked into her computer using this magic chip and so Doyle’s roughing her up was actually unwarranted, although he didn’t know that when he did it. Smug Johnson (sounds like a good porn movie title) points out that this could land Doyle in some serious shit if Nadia decides to sue his ass. Which seems silly, given all that Jack is able to get away with on this show. Plus they’ve incorrectly tortured CTU employees before – that has to be part of the employment waiver you sign when you come to work there now, anyway.
It turns out Johnson has had his own ass covered in the past by Doyle and he wants to return the favor. He hands over the chip and says they’re even. Wow, it looks like Doyle really is a dick. A big dick. A big Johnson, if you will.
At the White House bunker, Karen Hayes goes to ostensibly comfort Sandra Palmer as Wayne lies in his bed looking dead. Karen is kind for about a minute and then gets down to the business of imploring Sandra for her permission to rouse the President to get him to stop the out-of-control VP. Which again makes me want to know how the Palmer brothers choose their running mates. It’s unreal.
Sandra eventually agrees to consent to this and when word reaches the smug VP, he rings the doctor up and insists that he stand down. The doc is surprisingly strong in his convictions and tells Daniels to stick it, which I loved. He makes it sound like he’s got the President’s best interests in mind but we all know he doesn’t. To that end, though, I really don’t think the President’s doctor would risk the President’s life just because his sister said it was okay. I think there are other people who would need to weigh in on that as well.
In Culver City, Jack and his boys raid the Hauser House and nearly kill Mark, whom they’re there to interrogate. Silly CTU, always shooting first and asking questions second. In their defense they did see Hauser wielding a shotgun, which is an interesting thing to have near your Rain Man brother. Is it there in case Brady suddenly decides he doesn’t like green foods either?
We’re then treated to Jack actually being nice for a change. He obviously realizes Brady is autistic (or a big faker) and talks to him in a calm tone. When Brady says he can’t talk to strangers, Jack actually smiles and says he’s a police officer (liar) so it’s okay to talk to him. Knowing he’s definitely got leverage on Mark in the form of his brother and two bullet holes that are quickly draining the blood from Mark’s body, Jack cashes in and gets Mark to agree to set up the drop of the intel Gredenko’s looking for. They agree to use Brady, which seems to anguish Jack. Jack has experience putting mentally challenged people in harm’s way for his own purposes – remember when he had Kim pose as Saunders’ daughter a few years ago?
At CTU, the sketchy Johnson who found the Nadia-exonerating chip goes to Milo and tells him about it. Whoa. Did he have a change of heart? No, he’s just messing with Doyle. Milo about freaks out and suddenly wills his five-hour-old bullet wound to heal enough to remove his sling and take a shot at Doyle. Doyle defends Milo’s weak swing and Milo is controlled by a security guard. Doyle admits Johnson did indeed come up with something but that he wanted it verified since he finds Johnson unreliable. Good you brought him into CTU then, dude. Morris confirms that Doyle gave it to him to verify about ten minutes ago and that it is indeed legit. Milo is mortified at himself and tries to apologize to Doyle, who is suddenly magnanimous and tell Milo not to sweat it. I guess we’re supposed to like him now, everybody. Make a note.
Johnson, who reminds me of an arrogant skiing jackass in Aspen, stands there looking bemused at the little ruckus he created. Doyle tells him he’s done being jerked around by Johnson. Johnson just smirks. Probably the last we’ll see of him. Remember, loose storylines trail off this show like entrails.
Nadia is released from holding and Buchanan gives her a papa bear talk where he makes her still feel needed. Since she hasn’t had truth serums injected into her veins by Burke, she’s forgiving and agrees to stay on. She’s cold to Milo, though, as he tries to apologize – even though he wasn’t the one who had her locked up or even suspected her in the first place. Milo chases her down and she cuts right to the chase, telling him whatever he “thought” might happen between them, well, he could forget it now. Huh? How is that relevant? And way to use your vagina as a weapon, Nadia.
Milo responds by forcefully grabbing Nadia’s head/hair and kissing her. She returns the kiss and appears to be really turned on. I’m not sure how. I mean, I’m not into men at all but if I was, I think Milo would be far down on my list.
At the medical unit at the White House bunker, Wayne begins to crash as a result of his brain swelling. Well, we definitely don’t want Wayne getting dumber, do we? It looks like he might die since crashing and losing a pulse is sort of a really bad thing to have happen, despite the fact that ER shows people recovering from this with regularity. We don’t get to see what happens though as we cut…
…back to the Hauser House, where Jack is still wrestling with his inner conscience about sending Brady into the fray. He puts an earwig (the electronic kind) into Brady’s ear and sends him to the meeting point. He briefs (or reminds) Alpha, Bravo and Charlie teams about their roles: Charlie “team” (a lone sniper) has a tranquilizer rifle to take out Gredenko. Everybody else gets real bullets from Alpha and Bravo. I guess they’re pretty sure Fayed isn’t coming to this meet, too.
Gredenko shows up and takes the dummy info Brady hands over. Jack hears over the earpiece that Gredenko says to kill Brady once he confirms the intel. However, Charlie team has no clear shot with the tranq dart. Why not just tranq Brady, too, then? What, do you only have one dart in the rifle, dude? What follows is a tense moment where Jack orders Brady to get down and Brady is slow to respond, almost taking a bullet in the melon as a result. But he ducks just in time and CTU takes out Gredenko’s men while Gredenko gets him with a tranq dart that appears to instantly knock him out. Shit, that must be powerful. I wonder when he’ll be awake.
The answer is six minute. Wow, that’s some fast-acting and short-lasting tranquilizer. Perfect for situations like this. Gredenko immediately rolls over and offers up Fayed, or at least the help of finding Fayed. Naturally, Gredenko wants one of those amnesty agreements that the US government has given people like Nina, Mandy and others. I imagine they just have a stack of them and you plug in the person’s name, right?
At the bunker, Lennox relays the news that CTU has Gredenko. Daniels barely acknowledges and then moves on to the business at hand: bombing brown people. Lennox suggests maybe they should wait since this might be the end of the chase. Daniels flatly refuses and wants to teach the world a lesson. And I’m assuming it’s not to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.
Just before the launch is to occur, the submarine reports that they were called off. Daniels, feeling like he’s the ranking man on this operation, wants to know who the hell called it off. The answer is President Palmer. Daniels refrains from asking how David Palmer can call off anything with a hole through his throat and six feet of dirt on top of him.
Just then the phone rings and the VP takes it, only to hear Wayne intone, “Noah? It’s Wayne.” Noah says it’s a relief and a surprise to hear Wayne’s voice. Well, sure, since his heart was stopping and his brain was swelling him towards brain damage about 15 minutes ago.
After making his orders very clear to Daniels, Wayne hangs up and looks to be in severe pain and discomfort. His dippy sister just smiles back at him. Daniels decides the President is possibly in mental distress and is probably not able to dispatch his duties as President and he calls for the Attorney General and whoever remembers how the Season Two cabinet successfully removed David Palmer from office.
This cannot be good. And I don’t mean for Wayne. I mean that we’re recycling complete scripts now.
Reviewer: J
Yes, yes, I’ve gone missing for a couple of weeks. Well, I’m back now and you get a double-dip of my witticisms this week. What can I say? Work life intervened with play life and as a result you didn’t get a review last week. Alternatively, we can blame D for this since he doesn’t work here anymore anyway. Just think of me and D as Palmer and Daniels. I’ll let you all decide who’s who.
But on to Hour Fifteen, from two weeks ago. There were some things in this hour that kind of pissed me off, though they had their virtues, which leaves me kind of torn. I’m of course talking about Rain Man Brady, but we’ll get to him.
In case you forgot, the previouslies show us how Gredenko and Fayed launched the drone plane that Jack managed to crash-land on the outskirts of San Francisco only to have the local firemen exposed to radiation. Well, as we roll into the eight o’clock hour, Gredenko and Fayed are beginning to wonder if something’s gone awry or if Google Maps was inaccurate in just how far away San Francisco actually is. There’s a standoff between the two that’s supposed to be intense and Gredenko goads Fayed about killing him when he still needs him. I’m sure this is supposed to make me think…something. But it just reminds me that both these guys are unlikable and they seem to trade episodes taking turns as to who is really in charge. They both blame each other for things going wrong and both seem to be right sometimes. Meh.
At the site of the drone pilot’s final minutes, Jack gets on the horn to Buchanan and learns that VP Daniels is planning to nuke the as yet unnamed Middle Eastern country in retaliation. For Jack’s shitty landing? That’s not really fair. Jack acts like Daniels is all nuts for using this level of force. I guess that’s fair. When compared to nuclear bombs, cutting off people’s fingers is considerably less drastic and has less collateral damage.
Buchanan basically tells Jack that he figures they need to wrap this thing up by finding Gredenko and/or Fayed before the nuke attack happens. And when is that? By the end of the hour. Well, what the hell would I do for the next nine hours, then? Review episodes showing Jack on the phone with CTU HR trying to collect backpay?
Gredenko, too, is back on the horn again and calls a new character, a scruffy thirtysomething dude named Mark Hauser. Good thing his name isn’t Maxwell. Gredenko wants better “security specs” than the ones Hauser already provided. Huh? Okay. Gredenko says he’s coming to Hauser’s house (the Hauser House?) to get the specs in about 40 minutes. Hauser goes to the kitchen where his brother Brady announces, “I hungry!” Oh, outstanding. We’re out of ideas so instead of an unwilling civilian being forced to play along with CTU, now we’re going to have a retarded civilian playing along. These are the moments when I think the writing staff are truly running out of ideas.
Anyway, Brady is Rain Man when it comes to breaking into Mark’s employer and stealing stuff so Mark dispatches him to do that while he improves the crap-ass meal he was making for Brady. Oh, the meal? Scrambled eggs with red peppers in them. Yuck. Brady says he doesn’t want the red peppers. I’m with you, Brady. He also says he doesn’t eat red food, but does no elaborate. I’d test Rain Man here by offering him some Swedish Fish and Jolly Ranchers.
Back at CTU, we see that Milo is spending yet another episode pensively watching Nadia in the interrogation room. Is he hoping she forgets the cameras are there and starts disrobing like the scene in American Pie? Her name was Nadia, too, let’s not forget. Bill interrupts Milo’s daydream (and mine) to tell him Nadia “being processed as an enemy combatant.” Whatever. We all know she’s too hot to be guilty.
At the same time, Chloe has fortuitously caught one of those CTU breaks. Good thing, too, cause things were looking bleak and Milo had nothing to do but stare at Nadia. Anyway, Chloe has intercepted Gredenko’s call to Hauser and has his address by pulling up his drivers license. How come whenever I see a California driver’s license on TV or movies, the person’s picture always looks like a professional head shot? They’re always sort of angled to the side whereas every other state I’ve seen has you looking straight ahead. I’ve held New Jersey and New York driver’s licenses and they looked like… well, licenses. But I guess California is different.
Another interesting tidbit I noted was the dating on Hauser’s license. It has him born in 1982 and the license expiring in 2014, if I’m not mistaken (which I could be since I don’t have the hour cued up in front of me as I write this). So we are indeed in around 2012 as has been widely reported. It also makes Hauser about 30 years old. Which is interesting when Chloe later pulls up his employment history and we see he had job listings back in 1997…when he was about 15. Must have been precocious. Nice work, continuity department. If I can spot things like this on one or two viewings, I would think someone working on the set might be able to pay attention to them. Especially seeing as how this show has a predominant focus on, you know, timing.
Buchanan orders Jack’s team to the address. Meanwhile, a new tech guy names Johnson calls Doyle over to show him a chip he found that, in a nutshell, exonerates Nadia. The baddies hacked into her computer using this magic chip and so Doyle’s roughing her up was actually unwarranted, although he didn’t know that when he did it. Smug Johnson (sounds like a good porn movie title) points out that this could land Doyle in some serious shit if Nadia decides to sue his ass. Which seems silly, given all that Jack is able to get away with on this show. Plus they’ve incorrectly tortured CTU employees before – that has to be part of the employment waiver you sign when you come to work there now, anyway.
It turns out Johnson has had his own ass covered in the past by Doyle and he wants to return the favor. He hands over the chip and says they’re even. Wow, it looks like Doyle really is a dick. A big dick. A big Johnson, if you will.
At the White House bunker, Karen Hayes goes to ostensibly comfort Sandra Palmer as Wayne lies in his bed looking dead. Karen is kind for about a minute and then gets down to the business of imploring Sandra for her permission to rouse the President to get him to stop the out-of-control VP. Which again makes me want to know how the Palmer brothers choose their running mates. It’s unreal.
Sandra eventually agrees to consent to this and when word reaches the smug VP, he rings the doctor up and insists that he stand down. The doc is surprisingly strong in his convictions and tells Daniels to stick it, which I loved. He makes it sound like he’s got the President’s best interests in mind but we all know he doesn’t. To that end, though, I really don’t think the President’s doctor would risk the President’s life just because his sister said it was okay. I think there are other people who would need to weigh in on that as well.
In Culver City, Jack and his boys raid the Hauser House and nearly kill Mark, whom they’re there to interrogate. Silly CTU, always shooting first and asking questions second. In their defense they did see Hauser wielding a shotgun, which is an interesting thing to have near your Rain Man brother. Is it there in case Brady suddenly decides he doesn’t like green foods either?
We’re then treated to Jack actually being nice for a change. He obviously realizes Brady is autistic (or a big faker) and talks to him in a calm tone. When Brady says he can’t talk to strangers, Jack actually smiles and says he’s a police officer (liar) so it’s okay to talk to him. Knowing he’s definitely got leverage on Mark in the form of his brother and two bullet holes that are quickly draining the blood from Mark’s body, Jack cashes in and gets Mark to agree to set up the drop of the intel Gredenko’s looking for. They agree to use Brady, which seems to anguish Jack. Jack has experience putting mentally challenged people in harm’s way for his own purposes – remember when he had Kim pose as Saunders’ daughter a few years ago?
At CTU, the sketchy Johnson who found the Nadia-exonerating chip goes to Milo and tells him about it. Whoa. Did he have a change of heart? No, he’s just messing with Doyle. Milo about freaks out and suddenly wills his five-hour-old bullet wound to heal enough to remove his sling and take a shot at Doyle. Doyle defends Milo’s weak swing and Milo is controlled by a security guard. Doyle admits Johnson did indeed come up with something but that he wanted it verified since he finds Johnson unreliable. Good you brought him into CTU then, dude. Morris confirms that Doyle gave it to him to verify about ten minutes ago and that it is indeed legit. Milo is mortified at himself and tries to apologize to Doyle, who is suddenly magnanimous and tell Milo not to sweat it. I guess we’re supposed to like him now, everybody. Make a note.
Johnson, who reminds me of an arrogant skiing jackass in Aspen, stands there looking bemused at the little ruckus he created. Doyle tells him he’s done being jerked around by Johnson. Johnson just smirks. Probably the last we’ll see of him. Remember, loose storylines trail off this show like entrails.
Nadia is released from holding and Buchanan gives her a papa bear talk where he makes her still feel needed. Since she hasn’t had truth serums injected into her veins by Burke, she’s forgiving and agrees to stay on. She’s cold to Milo, though, as he tries to apologize – even though he wasn’t the one who had her locked up or even suspected her in the first place. Milo chases her down and she cuts right to the chase, telling him whatever he “thought” might happen between them, well, he could forget it now. Huh? How is that relevant? And way to use your vagina as a weapon, Nadia.
Milo responds by forcefully grabbing Nadia’s head/hair and kissing her. She returns the kiss and appears to be really turned on. I’m not sure how. I mean, I’m not into men at all but if I was, I think Milo would be far down on my list.
At the medical unit at the White House bunker, Wayne begins to crash as a result of his brain swelling. Well, we definitely don’t want Wayne getting dumber, do we? It looks like he might die since crashing and losing a pulse is sort of a really bad thing to have happen, despite the fact that ER shows people recovering from this with regularity. We don’t get to see what happens though as we cut…
…back to the Hauser House, where Jack is still wrestling with his inner conscience about sending Brady into the fray. He puts an earwig (the electronic kind) into Brady’s ear and sends him to the meeting point. He briefs (or reminds) Alpha, Bravo and Charlie teams about their roles: Charlie “team” (a lone sniper) has a tranquilizer rifle to take out Gredenko. Everybody else gets real bullets from Alpha and Bravo. I guess they’re pretty sure Fayed isn’t coming to this meet, too.
Gredenko shows up and takes the dummy info Brady hands over. Jack hears over the earpiece that Gredenko says to kill Brady once he confirms the intel. However, Charlie team has no clear shot with the tranq dart. Why not just tranq Brady, too, then? What, do you only have one dart in the rifle, dude? What follows is a tense moment where Jack orders Brady to get down and Brady is slow to respond, almost taking a bullet in the melon as a result. But he ducks just in time and CTU takes out Gredenko’s men while Gredenko gets him with a tranq dart that appears to instantly knock him out. Shit, that must be powerful. I wonder when he’ll be awake.
The answer is six minute. Wow, that’s some fast-acting and short-lasting tranquilizer. Perfect for situations like this. Gredenko immediately rolls over and offers up Fayed, or at least the help of finding Fayed. Naturally, Gredenko wants one of those amnesty agreements that the US government has given people like Nina, Mandy and others. I imagine they just have a stack of them and you plug in the person’s name, right?
At the bunker, Lennox relays the news that CTU has Gredenko. Daniels barely acknowledges and then moves on to the business at hand: bombing brown people. Lennox suggests maybe they should wait since this might be the end of the chase. Daniels flatly refuses and wants to teach the world a lesson. And I’m assuming it’s not to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.
Just before the launch is to occur, the submarine reports that they were called off. Daniels, feeling like he’s the ranking man on this operation, wants to know who the hell called it off. The answer is President Palmer. Daniels refrains from asking how David Palmer can call off anything with a hole through his throat and six feet of dirt on top of him.
Just then the phone rings and the VP takes it, only to hear Wayne intone, “Noah? It’s Wayne.” Noah says it’s a relief and a surprise to hear Wayne’s voice. Well, sure, since his heart was stopping and his brain was swelling him towards brain damage about 15 minutes ago.
After making his orders very clear to Daniels, Wayne hangs up and looks to be in severe pain and discomfort. His dippy sister just smiles back at him. Daniels decides the President is possibly in mental distress and is probably not able to dispatch his duties as President and he calls for the Attorney General and whoever remembers how the Season Two cabinet successfully removed David Palmer from office.
This cannot be good. And I don’t mean for Wayne. I mean that we’re recycling complete scripts now.
Labels: Season Six
posted by J Money at 5:35:00 PM
1 Comments:
Yes, you can definitely blame me for J's tardiness. I'm a bad man and, quite possibly, a 24 turncoat. I sold the nukes to Fayed and blackmailed Phil Bauer into taking the fall, who then dressed up like Martha Logan to stab the ex-prez. He/she then ran off with Behrooz...
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