Season 6; Hour One (6:00AM - 7:00AM)
Air Date: 14 Jan 2007
Reviewer: J
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, we’re back. It’s time for Season Six. Since D abandoned me (just kidding, D), I’m going to be hammering out four of these babies this week alone. The good news is that after this week, reviewing one hour at a time will be cake. So strap in and behave yourselves or I’ll turn this review around.
We open on Fox News telling us about all the bombings that have been going on, which we all know from the endless promos we’ve been seeing for the past month. A sketchy looking dude – middle eastern, of course – is trying to catch his bus but the bus driver won’t let him on. This, of course, after stopping the bus to look him up and down for about 30 seconds and then pulling away heartlessly. Turns out the joke’s on you, racist bus driver! There’s already a terrorist on board! Maybe if you’re going to practice racial profiling, you shouldn’t just limit it to those who are late. Sometimes, terrorists are on time, bozo.
So the bus goes ka-blooey and we then move to Washington, DC, where, lo and behold! We see the Oval Office! Holy Moses, I never thought it would happen. And there’s John Cage from Ally McBeal fame arguing with our old friend Karen Hayes, who is now the National Security Advisor. Cage, whose name in this show is Tom, wants to set up “detention centers” for, well, all people who aren’t lily-white, I guess. Karen is argument is that might upset the law-abiding middle Eastern folks who reside legally in the United States. Tom’s argument is, basically, “oh well.”
We then see they’re arguing in front of President Wayne Palmer. I love television and the way that they can show us a world where things happen that might never happen in our lifetimes, like a black President. I mean, I’d have voted for David Palmer for sure but you just know that nobody in the South would. Oh well. In 24-land, Wayne is now President, which probably wasn’t too hard to win since he was likely running against Hal Gardner, Logan’s successor. I imagine it was like the Nixon/Ford years – the country lost trust in that party and in came the new guy. Plus, people loved Wayne’s brother so there you have it. Whether or not they know about Wayne’s breaking and entering back in Season Three is anyone’s guess.
Anyway, Wayne is clearly struggling with all of this, especially all the terrorist attacks on the U.S., which is pushing the death toll towards 1,000 civilians. We also learn that the terrorist alert level is at red for the first time since the formation of the Department of Homeland Security. I like Wayne in this role and I like that he’s clearly struggling with the morality of detaining people based on the color of their skin (for obvious reasons) while also weighing unending acts of terrorism in the U.S. To illustrate how frequent these attacks are getting, we see Karen, Tom and Wayne get the news of the bus that just blew up in L.A. and see that they’re not all that fazed by it. One thing Wayne isn’t afraid of is ordering the death of a known terrorist, Assad. I like that about him.
We get our first look at CTU Los Angeles and see that the floor layout hasn’t changed all that much, although there are probably a lot of employees not yet vested in their company-matching 401(k)s seeing as how many died last season. We learn that Chloe’s ex-husband Morris was kept on after helping out at the end of Day Five and that he’s just as boorish as he was last season. We also learn that Milo is back and, apparently, has some sort of management role. Good choice, CTU.
It also appears that Chloe and Morris are back together, or at least boffing again. The Fox summary says that Morris responds to Chloe “by grabbing her from behind.” I’d suggest they remove the “from” lest this turn into a porn blow-by-blow – er, description.
Since it’s the first hour, we’re meeting all sorts of people, including another newbie at CTU who also appears to have a management position (Assistant Special Agent in Charge, as it turns out), Nadia Yassir. Nadia is hot. This must be what has prompted Chloe to get a new hairstyle and to dress in a snappy black suit. Anyway, Nadia exposits for us that they have a lead on killing Assad and that they’re using Jack Bauer for bait. Chloe spits out that Jack is in a Chinese prison.
Okay, so let’s hold the phone a second here. How exactly does Chloe know that? I thought the Chinese were going to keep that secret so the U.S. didn’t interfere. Who else knows? Does Audrey know? Does Kim know? Evidently, Wayne Palmer knew, because he somehow negotiated the release of Jack… to use as trade bait for Assad. Apparently, there’s a member of Assad’s cell named Abu Fayed who is willing to give up Assad’s location in exchange for Jack. He’s very thorough and has all the CTU surveillance protocols and is tapped into their systems so that he knows he isn’t being set up. It turns out his brother is one of the many people Jack has tortured and killed over the years and Fayed wants to exact some revenge for “what happened in Beirut,” or so Buchanan eventually exposits.
Ah, yes, Buchanan. He and Curtis, who gets like two or three lines, are at the airfield to pick up Jack from the Chinese. We get to see Cheng Zhi again, who we learned in the prequel to Season Six is a much worse dude than we realized. I found myself thinking during the exchange as Jack stared down Zhi that this guy has been a character on 24 since April 2005, roughly. His story arc has been a long one. I think it’s safe to assume it’s over now.
However, I am indeed curious what Palmer traded for Jack. Zhi says the Prez paid a high price for him so it leads me to hope that Palmer gave the Chinese Charles Logan. However, Wayne knows what a weak man Logan is and that he probably would give up state secrets that Jack wouldn’t so that’s likely a no.
Buchanan looks sickened at Jack’s appearance and we see that Jack’s hands have been burned. They take Jack into a hangar and tell him the situation. It’s kind of a good news-bad news kind of thing. Buchanan gets right to it:
Good news, Wayne Palmer negotiated your release.
Bad news, you’re being sacrificed in the name of U.S. citizens.
Jack clearly is confused at first, especially at the phrase “President Palmer.” Yeah, Bill, way to not convince Jack he’s really lost it. Buchanan explains that Wayne is President and says, “I’m sorry Jack, how could you know?” He fails to fill Jack in on the Cardinals winning the World Series, however.
Anyway, Jack is allowed to freshen up after 20 months in a Chinese prison (how thoughtful, though it’s probably because Buchanan doesn’t want Smelly Jack in his car) and we see the many scars on Jack’s back from the torture. This guy definitely went through hell.
Chloe is up to her typical ways, bitch-snotting Nadia into telling her the deal with Jack. Chloe is upset but realizes that Palmer has approved it and there’s nothing she can do. We do see throughout this episode, though, how much she still cares about Jack. It’s still interesting to me how she knew he was in a Chinese prison. Maybe she reads the fan sites.
Jack is clean-shaven and looks pretty good for a guy who just got out of prison. Strangely, he’s wearing his new button-down shirt with the top button done like he was expecting one of Bill’s ties or something. Or maybe he’s hoping to be mistaken for a member of the clergy. Anyway, Bill and Curtis take him to the drop point for Fayed, at which point he’ll be “on his own.” Man, that sucks. Jack takes it all in stride, though, even giving us the impassioned speech we’ve heard many times in the promos (although I didn’t realize it was to Bill, who looks even sicker that he has to leave Jack handcuffed to a storm gate in a drainage basin), about how this gives him the chance “to die for something.” Fair enough. Bill and Curtis depart and head back to CTU where they’ve left the kids running things long enough.
At about this time we’re introduced to some Caucasian long-haired Angelinos, Jillian and Ray Wallace, who are worried about their son Scott going to school. During the hullabaloo, they see that their neighbor is being arrested by the FBI. So maybe Tom’s detention centers are already going into effect? Hard to say. It turns out, though, that the gentleman’s son, Ahmed (or Kumar, of Harold and Kumar fame), is the one who is actually working with Fayed in some way. We don’t see that at first but there’s got to be some reason we’re being introduced to this character so I think we all fully suspected it. Ray Wallace actually goes over to the house to defend Ahmed/Kumar from a racist, hillbilly neighbor (who may or may not have been part of the group who killed Yusuf in Season Two) who wants to beat him senseless. Which, as it turns out, is an accurate instinct but one we were to believe was not accurate at this point in the story.
Back at CTU, Morris pleases Chloe (not that way, pervs) by telling her that he has access to a non-government satellite and that they can look in on Jack with it without Sayed knowing. Well, what good does that do? So you can see him be killed? Because, you know, that’s probably what Sayed wants to do right away. Oh, but no, Sayed says to Jack that he’s been waiting for this for a long time and Jack is knocked over the coconut and thrown in a van. At this point, one of Sayed’s henchies calls him to tell him he’s being monitored by a non-government satellite. Heh, nice one, Morris. Sayed calls CTU and does the whole threaten thing while Nadia and Milo truthfully say that don’t know what he’s talking about. They, of course, do figure out that it’s the O’Brian Crime Fighting Duo who are fucking around with satellites and quite recklessly risking the operation. They shut down as Sayed asks but he toys with CTU by saying he might not tell them where Assad is. Way to go, O’Brian Crime Fighters.
Bill comes in and is ready to throw Chloe through the plate-glass wall. She offers herself up to be fired – and she really should be, for once – but Bill says he would if not for the fact that they need the manpower. What a lame – and tired – excuse for not firing people. Just shit-can them and replace them with people who do what they’re told. Jesus. Or Allah. Your call.
At Fayed’s underground hideout, he gives Jack a few punches and sits him in a chair hooked to a heart monitor. Fayed, in true Bond villain form, tells Jack that Assad isn’t here to carry out these attacks – he’s here to try to stop the network he has from doing them, and that it’s Fayed who is masterminding the attacks. And will continue to after Assad is dead. Ruh-roh!
Fayed acknowledged the Chinese didn’t leave him much to work with but gets right to the business of stabbing Jack in the nerve bundle located in front of Jack’s left shoulder. Jack actually doesn’t seem the mind the stabbing but he really doesn’t care for the liquid that is then poured into the wound. I’m not sure if it’s alcohol, acid or what. Regardless, Fayed’s reaction is marginally amusing as he says, “Better.”
We also see Fayed shank Jack in the back with what looks like a shish-ka-bob skewer. That has got to hurt a bit and Jack does react like he’s…well, been stabbed.
Fayed then decides to move on to cutting off Jack’s finger and for a minute it appears we’re going to see it happen until Fayed is… interrupted by a phone call. Fricking telemarketers. Get on the “Do Not Call” list, Fayed! Did you hear that they’re going to have our cell numbers soon, too??
Fayed takes the call which is just a freak-out session from Kumar/Ahmed, whose innocent father has been abducted by the FBI. All Fayed cares about is “the package,” which may or may not be a sack of White Castle burgers.
While Fayed is preoccupied with this call, Jack gets his heart monitor off and plays dead. The lone guard in the room rushes over to assess and Jack goes all Hannibal Lecter on him, taking a chunk out of the guard’s neck with his teeth. Blech.
Jack gets loose and opens a grate, which Fayed’s men assume was his escape route when in reality Jack is hiding in the grate under the torture area. Sure hope there’s another way out of that grate, Jack, and that they don’t leave someone behind to look for you.
And, basically, that’s the end of Hour One. CTU is planning to detonate the house that Assad is holed up in (in LA, fortuitously) and hope that it quells the terror attacks. Of course, we and Jack know that that’s a fruitless cause. What will happen? How will Jack get the word to CTU and will they believe him? I can’t believe I have to wait until the next episode to find out! Oh, wait, it’s on right after this one… sweet. This really is the “non-stop season” of 24!
Reviewer: J
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, we’re back. It’s time for Season Six. Since D abandoned me (just kidding, D), I’m going to be hammering out four of these babies this week alone. The good news is that after this week, reviewing one hour at a time will be cake. So strap in and behave yourselves or I’ll turn this review around.
We open on Fox News telling us about all the bombings that have been going on, which we all know from the endless promos we’ve been seeing for the past month. A sketchy looking dude – middle eastern, of course – is trying to catch his bus but the bus driver won’t let him on. This, of course, after stopping the bus to look him up and down for about 30 seconds and then pulling away heartlessly. Turns out the joke’s on you, racist bus driver! There’s already a terrorist on board! Maybe if you’re going to practice racial profiling, you shouldn’t just limit it to those who are late. Sometimes, terrorists are on time, bozo.
So the bus goes ka-blooey and we then move to Washington, DC, where, lo and behold! We see the Oval Office! Holy Moses, I never thought it would happen. And there’s John Cage from Ally McBeal fame arguing with our old friend Karen Hayes, who is now the National Security Advisor. Cage, whose name in this show is Tom, wants to set up “detention centers” for, well, all people who aren’t lily-white, I guess. Karen is argument is that might upset the law-abiding middle Eastern folks who reside legally in the United States. Tom’s argument is, basically, “oh well.”
We then see they’re arguing in front of President Wayne Palmer. I love television and the way that they can show us a world where things happen that might never happen in our lifetimes, like a black President. I mean, I’d have voted for David Palmer for sure but you just know that nobody in the South would. Oh well. In 24-land, Wayne is now President, which probably wasn’t too hard to win since he was likely running against Hal Gardner, Logan’s successor. I imagine it was like the Nixon/Ford years – the country lost trust in that party and in came the new guy. Plus, people loved Wayne’s brother so there you have it. Whether or not they know about Wayne’s breaking and entering back in Season Three is anyone’s guess.
Anyway, Wayne is clearly struggling with all of this, especially all the terrorist attacks on the U.S., which is pushing the death toll towards 1,000 civilians. We also learn that the terrorist alert level is at red for the first time since the formation of the Department of Homeland Security. I like Wayne in this role and I like that he’s clearly struggling with the morality of detaining people based on the color of their skin (for obvious reasons) while also weighing unending acts of terrorism in the U.S. To illustrate how frequent these attacks are getting, we see Karen, Tom and Wayne get the news of the bus that just blew up in L.A. and see that they’re not all that fazed by it. One thing Wayne isn’t afraid of is ordering the death of a known terrorist, Assad. I like that about him.
We get our first look at CTU Los Angeles and see that the floor layout hasn’t changed all that much, although there are probably a lot of employees not yet vested in their company-matching 401(k)s seeing as how many died last season. We learn that Chloe’s ex-husband Morris was kept on after helping out at the end of Day Five and that he’s just as boorish as he was last season. We also learn that Milo is back and, apparently, has some sort of management role. Good choice, CTU.
It also appears that Chloe and Morris are back together, or at least boffing again. The Fox summary says that Morris responds to Chloe “by grabbing her from behind.” I’d suggest they remove the “from” lest this turn into a porn blow-by-blow – er, description.
Since it’s the first hour, we’re meeting all sorts of people, including another newbie at CTU who also appears to have a management position (Assistant Special Agent in Charge, as it turns out), Nadia Yassir. Nadia is hot. This must be what has prompted Chloe to get a new hairstyle and to dress in a snappy black suit. Anyway, Nadia exposits for us that they have a lead on killing Assad and that they’re using Jack Bauer for bait. Chloe spits out that Jack is in a Chinese prison.
Okay, so let’s hold the phone a second here. How exactly does Chloe know that? I thought the Chinese were going to keep that secret so the U.S. didn’t interfere. Who else knows? Does Audrey know? Does Kim know? Evidently, Wayne Palmer knew, because he somehow negotiated the release of Jack… to use as trade bait for Assad. Apparently, there’s a member of Assad’s cell named Abu Fayed who is willing to give up Assad’s location in exchange for Jack. He’s very thorough and has all the CTU surveillance protocols and is tapped into their systems so that he knows he isn’t being set up. It turns out his brother is one of the many people Jack has tortured and killed over the years and Fayed wants to exact some revenge for “what happened in Beirut,” or so Buchanan eventually exposits.
Ah, yes, Buchanan. He and Curtis, who gets like two or three lines, are at the airfield to pick up Jack from the Chinese. We get to see Cheng Zhi again, who we learned in the prequel to Season Six is a much worse dude than we realized. I found myself thinking during the exchange as Jack stared down Zhi that this guy has been a character on 24 since April 2005, roughly. His story arc has been a long one. I think it’s safe to assume it’s over now.
However, I am indeed curious what Palmer traded for Jack. Zhi says the Prez paid a high price for him so it leads me to hope that Palmer gave the Chinese Charles Logan. However, Wayne knows what a weak man Logan is and that he probably would give up state secrets that Jack wouldn’t so that’s likely a no.
Buchanan looks sickened at Jack’s appearance and we see that Jack’s hands have been burned. They take Jack into a hangar and tell him the situation. It’s kind of a good news-bad news kind of thing. Buchanan gets right to it:
Good news, Wayne Palmer negotiated your release.
Bad news, you’re being sacrificed in the name of U.S. citizens.
Jack clearly is confused at first, especially at the phrase “President Palmer.” Yeah, Bill, way to not convince Jack he’s really lost it. Buchanan explains that Wayne is President and says, “I’m sorry Jack, how could you know?” He fails to fill Jack in on the Cardinals winning the World Series, however.
Anyway, Jack is allowed to freshen up after 20 months in a Chinese prison (how thoughtful, though it’s probably because Buchanan doesn’t want Smelly Jack in his car) and we see the many scars on Jack’s back from the torture. This guy definitely went through hell.
Chloe is up to her typical ways, bitch-snotting Nadia into telling her the deal with Jack. Chloe is upset but realizes that Palmer has approved it and there’s nothing she can do. We do see throughout this episode, though, how much she still cares about Jack. It’s still interesting to me how she knew he was in a Chinese prison. Maybe she reads the fan sites.
Jack is clean-shaven and looks pretty good for a guy who just got out of prison. Strangely, he’s wearing his new button-down shirt with the top button done like he was expecting one of Bill’s ties or something. Or maybe he’s hoping to be mistaken for a member of the clergy. Anyway, Bill and Curtis take him to the drop point for Fayed, at which point he’ll be “on his own.” Man, that sucks. Jack takes it all in stride, though, even giving us the impassioned speech we’ve heard many times in the promos (although I didn’t realize it was to Bill, who looks even sicker that he has to leave Jack handcuffed to a storm gate in a drainage basin), about how this gives him the chance “to die for something.” Fair enough. Bill and Curtis depart and head back to CTU where they’ve left the kids running things long enough.
At about this time we’re introduced to some Caucasian long-haired Angelinos, Jillian and Ray Wallace, who are worried about their son Scott going to school. During the hullabaloo, they see that their neighbor is being arrested by the FBI. So maybe Tom’s detention centers are already going into effect? Hard to say. It turns out, though, that the gentleman’s son, Ahmed (or Kumar, of Harold and Kumar fame), is the one who is actually working with Fayed in some way. We don’t see that at first but there’s got to be some reason we’re being introduced to this character so I think we all fully suspected it. Ray Wallace actually goes over to the house to defend Ahmed/Kumar from a racist, hillbilly neighbor (who may or may not have been part of the group who killed Yusuf in Season Two) who wants to beat him senseless. Which, as it turns out, is an accurate instinct but one we were to believe was not accurate at this point in the story.
Back at CTU, Morris pleases Chloe (not that way, pervs) by telling her that he has access to a non-government satellite and that they can look in on Jack with it without Sayed knowing. Well, what good does that do? So you can see him be killed? Because, you know, that’s probably what Sayed wants to do right away. Oh, but no, Sayed says to Jack that he’s been waiting for this for a long time and Jack is knocked over the coconut and thrown in a van. At this point, one of Sayed’s henchies calls him to tell him he’s being monitored by a non-government satellite. Heh, nice one, Morris. Sayed calls CTU and does the whole threaten thing while Nadia and Milo truthfully say that don’t know what he’s talking about. They, of course, do figure out that it’s the O’Brian Crime Fighting Duo who are fucking around with satellites and quite recklessly risking the operation. They shut down as Sayed asks but he toys with CTU by saying he might not tell them where Assad is. Way to go, O’Brian Crime Fighters.
Bill comes in and is ready to throw Chloe through the plate-glass wall. She offers herself up to be fired – and she really should be, for once – but Bill says he would if not for the fact that they need the manpower. What a lame – and tired – excuse for not firing people. Just shit-can them and replace them with people who do what they’re told. Jesus. Or Allah. Your call.
At Fayed’s underground hideout, he gives Jack a few punches and sits him in a chair hooked to a heart monitor. Fayed, in true Bond villain form, tells Jack that Assad isn’t here to carry out these attacks – he’s here to try to stop the network he has from doing them, and that it’s Fayed who is masterminding the attacks. And will continue to after Assad is dead. Ruh-roh!
Fayed acknowledged the Chinese didn’t leave him much to work with but gets right to the business of stabbing Jack in the nerve bundle located in front of Jack’s left shoulder. Jack actually doesn’t seem the mind the stabbing but he really doesn’t care for the liquid that is then poured into the wound. I’m not sure if it’s alcohol, acid or what. Regardless, Fayed’s reaction is marginally amusing as he says, “Better.”
We also see Fayed shank Jack in the back with what looks like a shish-ka-bob skewer. That has got to hurt a bit and Jack does react like he’s…well, been stabbed.
Fayed then decides to move on to cutting off Jack’s finger and for a minute it appears we’re going to see it happen until Fayed is… interrupted by a phone call. Fricking telemarketers. Get on the “Do Not Call” list, Fayed! Did you hear that they’re going to have our cell numbers soon, too??
Fayed takes the call which is just a freak-out session from Kumar/Ahmed, whose innocent father has been abducted by the FBI. All Fayed cares about is “the package,” which may or may not be a sack of White Castle burgers.
While Fayed is preoccupied with this call, Jack gets his heart monitor off and plays dead. The lone guard in the room rushes over to assess and Jack goes all Hannibal Lecter on him, taking a chunk out of the guard’s neck with his teeth. Blech.
Jack gets loose and opens a grate, which Fayed’s men assume was his escape route when in reality Jack is hiding in the grate under the torture area. Sure hope there’s another way out of that grate, Jack, and that they don’t leave someone behind to look for you.
And, basically, that’s the end of Hour One. CTU is planning to detonate the house that Assad is holed up in (in LA, fortuitously) and hope that it quells the terror attacks. Of course, we and Jack know that that’s a fruitless cause. What will happen? How will Jack get the word to CTU and will they believe him? I can’t believe I have to wait until the next episode to find out! Oh, wait, it’s on right after this one… sweet. This really is the “non-stop season” of 24!
Labels: Season Six
posted by J Money at 12:14:00 PM
2 Comments:
Great review J! This episode reminded me of two villain quotes:
The first was from Nina in Day III, when she tells Jack that she thinks she's lying and that "You'd do anything for your country," with a roll of the eyes to boot.
Seriously, after five seasons and tortured by the Chinese for 20 months, ONLY to sacrifice himself for the sake of America? I think Nina's got a point, wouldn't you say?
And the second quote is from Johnathan Wallace of the Coral Snake Militia Group, where he point blank asks Jack (who never answers) if he's "a born Killer. Is it true Jack? Are you a born killer?"
After that attack to the neck and seeing him in the grate with blood under his chin, I'd have think that YES, Wallace, I think you have a point as well!
Can't wait for the 6.2 Review!
This was quite a way to begin season 6. I'm totally pumped.
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