Season 5; Hour Seventeen (11:00PM - 12:00AM)

Air Date: 10 Apr 2006
Reviewer: J

Well, I was far less excited by the twist of Logan being behind this mess than D was last week. I kept saying to whoever would listen (co-workers, friends, random people on the subway) that they had damn well better find a way to make this make sense. It’s completely – completely – clear that this was made up just recently. Logan made much more sense as a good guy. A spineless, unable-to-make-a-decision wuss, but a well-intentioned one. Well, a reasonably well-intentioned one, anyway. I mean, he is rather self-serving and more interested in his public image and his legacy and whatnot, but in the end he certainly appeared pained at the idea of American citizens being harmed. But now we have this revelation that he was “behind everything that’s happened today,” a phrase we’ve heard a lot of over the years. While being led to believe that Homeland or the Vice President or Walt Cummings or the Russians were behind it, we all assumed it couldn’t be the President. But now it is.

Speaking of the Russians, there is a mention of Bierko this hour that leads us to believe he’s still alive. What about all those interactions with the President? Did Logan fake all of that? Are he and Bierko sort of in on this, too? How connected are Henderson and Bierko? Are we back to the lame-ass, contrived plot that Walt Cummings spewed forth ten or so hours ago about how this was done to “make the country stronger”? It sure sounds like it, and if that’s the case, color me disappointed.

But let’s get rolling on this hour which, for all the complaints I seem to be leveling, was very entertaining while still being what we tend to call a transitional, or filler, episode. There was nothing major discovered in this hour (unless you count Evelyn’s ability to teleport back and forth to the bank to get a safe deposit box in which to hide secret recordings or the fact that Logan knows how to French kiss) but it has us set up for an explosive last seven hours. We see the return of one of my favorite characters, Secretary of Defense James Heller. I just love William Devane, largely because of how much he appears to just be a bad-ass. He has that look of having weathered a lot of shit over the years and he is absolutely perfect for this role. I do worry, however, that he may confront the wrong person and get a bullet for his troubles. We shall see.

We launch into this episode with Wayne, Jack, Evelyn and Evelyn’s daughter Amy driving along in a nice Infiniti luxury sedan. Where they go this car, I have no idea. Perhaps it was Henderson’s and since he made off with Evelyn’s, Jack felt it only fair to abscond with Henderson’s ride. I do find it interesting that we see them in this car several times this hour with no explanation as to whose it is. Wayne’s is upside down in a ditch right now, Evelyn’s was boosted by Henderson and whatever CTUmobile Jack was driving is back at the barn where they met up last hour. So who knows?

Anyway, Jack is trying to take care of Evelyn’s wounds and they decide to go check into a hotel for some reason. Wayne Palmer, the former Chief of Staff to the President of the United States who was just murdered that morning, is sent in to secure the room. Good suggestion, Jack. When you’re trying to remain stealthy, using a highly recognizable public figure for covert work is a brilliant strategy. Also, not to repeatedly question Jack’s decisions, but why take Evelyn to a motel? I mean, they quite rightly realize that Henderson will somehow magically be monitoring the emergency frequencies and so they shouldn’t take her to a hospital. However, I would think that keeping her in the car and, you know, in motion, would make it easier to keep her safe and away from Henderson than putting her in a seedy motel room. But then again, I’m not a secret agent for a reason.

Anyway, we finally learn that this evidence that Evelyn has is damning indeed – a recording of a phone call between President Logan and Henderson. She stashed it in a safe deposit box in a bank in LA. Okay, first of all, when? Second, does she live in LA? Her daughter is there, so unless Henderson kidnapped her in DC and schlepped her to LA, I guess so. Or she brings her daughter to places where she’ll be working 16-18 hour days. Also, if she doesn’t live in LA, what is her car doing there? Or is that a rental?

Back to the main issue, though, when the hell did she sneak away from the first lady to bring that recording to a bank? Obviously, it had to be during normal banking hours and it had to be after Palmer was killed because we eventually hear the tape contains Logan wigging out about that. I know there were a couple hours in there when we didn’t see Evelyn, but there definitely weren’t many. And if she knew how involved the President was, why didn’t she tell the first lady? Or Aaron? Or anyone? No, she waits until her daughter is kidnapped to deal with this issue. What was she saving the tape for? A nice piece of blackmail evidence to earn an early retirement package?

Jack clues Audrey in to the fact that Logan is the weenie “behind everything that’s happened today.” Audrey eventually tells Chloe, whom I’m sure the writers will make bad soon, that Logan and not the VP is “behind everything that’s happened today.” And Audrey makes a call to her papa, SecDef Heller, to tell him she needs to set up a meeting with him and Jack (to my chagrin, he doesn’t say, “Honey, you’re hallucinating again – Jack’s dead, remember?”) because they have evidence regarding the person who is “behind everything that’s happened today.” I think I need a macro for that phrase.

Fortunately, Jim Heller is only an hour from Los Angeles (he must be in one of those President Keeler holding patterns) and Audrey bolts CTU right about the time Logan is putting out a warrant for Jack’s arrest. Yeah, way to not tip your hand there, Logan. Moron. Even Karen Hayes wonders about the secret warrant and admits as much to Audrey and Chloe. What do you bet they get her to support them soon enough? She’s even doubting whether Homeland should have taken over CTU at the insistence of the VP, by virtue of the insistence of Logan. Well, that’s interesting because I recall Karen’s first screen time including her suggesting the takeover. How odd. Does this show even hire continuity staff? Maybe they were killed in the Sentox attack.

I also like how Hayes reminds Chloe and Audrey that they’re obligated to tell her if Jack contacts them. Yeah, Karen, so I guess you’ve never watched 24 before, huh? I don’t think there are two people alive who are less likely to choose loyalty to you over Jack.

As Audrey is leaving CTU, Karen checks in with a couple of field operatives (one of which is the blonde chick who was commandeering Chloe’s ‘puter last hour) who are placing a transponder on Audrey’s car. Wait, Homeland has “field agents”? Are they experts in putting plastic wrap around doorframes? Because, come to think of it, that might have helped CTU a few hours ago.

Sometime while Jack was tending to Evelyn and calling Audrey (man, what a multi-tasker) Wayne has made himself useful and located the manager of the bank wherein Evelyn’s evidence is hidden. You know, Evelyn, this would have been a lot easier (not to mention, plausible) if you had the recording in your pocket. More to the point, how the hell did Wayne figure this out in three minutes (it’s 11:05 when he does)? He claims the manager “was listed.” Where? Under “Bank Managers, Los Angeles County”?

Anyway, just ten minutes later, Jack and Wayne are breaking into the bank manager’s house and dragooning him to help them. Rather than tell them what’s going on, Jack uses his patented “point the gun at the man’s wife” routine which, I must admit, is probably a much faster way to get what you want. Unless the man he does this to hates his wife. Man, that’d be a backfire, wouldn’t it?

“I’m going to shoot your wife unless you do what I want.”
“Go ahead.”
*BLAM*
“Now what?”

But it works this time. Mr. Bank Manager agrees to take them to his bank. Naturally, evading the national guard and police will be tough, given the curfew situation. And speaking of that, shouldn’t it be lifted by now?

Meanwhile, Audrey has pulled into a gas station and while putting the nozzle in her car dials Chloe. If you believe urban legends, that could be quite dangerous. At Chloe’s direction, she uses a doodad she swiped from CTU to search for bugs and transponders. She locates the one that Blonde Agent put under the wheel well. Audrey, wisely, does not destroy the transmitter or toss it in the grass, but instead saunters over and sticks it on a “DWP” truck. When Blonde Agent and her non-speaking partner finally catch on (I would have loved the exchange where they debate whether or not Audrey actually drives a utility truck with a cherry picker), she refers to it as a “DWP truck” and “the DWP guy.” This, of course, motivated me to figure out what this was and DWP is “Department of Water and Power.” Maybe you knew that already. Just being a full-service reviewer. And man, the public utilities in LA are being rudely abused today, aren’t they? Anyway, when Karen learns that Audrey ditched her tracker, she muses that this is odd since she's not a field operative. Well, neither is Chloe and she's the one who was the brains of that particular stealth mission. Miles and Hayes then redirect satellites away from looking for Jack to instead look for Audrey, who they presume will lead them to Jack. What kinds of satellites are these, anyway?

Over at the really hidden Presidential retreat, VP Gardner is asking about the warrant for Jack’s arrest, which Aaron overhears. Gardner points out, astutely, that since it’s an “executive” warrant, it had to come from one of them. Logan, as I said earlier not keeping his cards close to his vest, admits to ordering the arrest but puts off Gardner’s questions as to why. He even mentions that Jack should be treated as “a hero,” which completes our swing from Gardner being smarmy, deceptive and suspicious to being a good guy that Jack may need help from later on. Logan even goes so far as to pull rank on Gardner, the only man in the world who can do so. “Dammit,” thinks Hal, “I forgot he’s the one guy I can’t demand info from.”

Back at the motel, Evelyn’s bonks her head and her daughter calls 911. Almost immediately, Henderson is notified of the call and heads to the location. Remember when Henderson’s team got rip-shitted last hour and he said he was “putting together another team”? Well, that was pretty fast. He’s got guys monitoring all phone calls to emergency services – not bad. Predictably, Henderson goes to the motel and impassively kills the two paramedics tending to Evelyn before beginning to interrogate her. We don’t see the interrogation, nor Evelyn again this hour, but I think it’s safe to assume he killed her. I also imagine he threatened to kill her daughter to get her to talk. Let’s just hope he didn’t kill Amy, too. But I really wouldn’t put it past 24 to make Henderson such a monster that we cannot wait to see him killed by Jack.

At Camp David Palmer, the first lady (presumably on another meds binge) is crowing about how wonderfully her husband handled the day. Aaron is all, “humph, yeah, right,” which causes Martha to ask him what’s up. Aaron covers with, “I’m just battle-worn.” Well, sure, it’s not easy working 24 hour shifts and not even getting five minutes off when you’re in the front seat of a car that gets hit by a bazooka.

Just an aside here, where the hell is Mike Novick? Taking a nap? He’s one who is always suspicious of people’s motives and one who, presumably, Jack trusts. Just a thought.

Jack and Wayne have frog-marched the nameless bank manager to the bank and he has let them in. He finally recognizes Wayne from the TV coverage (I’m trying to picture Andy Card doing this) and Wayne and Jack admit to why they’re there. Bank Manager questions why they didn’t wait until the bank opened in the morning, as though national security only operates during business hours. “Because the season will be over before you re-open,” responds Jack. No, not really. This is about when Henderson’s goons start showing up to cut them down. Naturally, Mr. Bank Manager is now on board with the two rogue men bent on revenge who kidnapped him from his home and tied his wife up with his neckties, possible not for the first time that evening.

Jack comes up with the idea to have Mr. Manager, who we’ll call “Bank,” trip the silent alarm. Bank points out that this will bring the po-po, apparently a little slow on the uptake that having LAPD there, while not ideal under almost any circumstances, is better than having half a dozen assassins with automatic weapons firing at them without any distractions. Bank eventually comes around to this point of view and agrees to trip the alarm, while Wayne gets nervous about being a black man in the middle of the night in LA with a squad car approaching.

Back at the retreat, Logan and his wife make up rather disgustingly. They play some tonsil hockey as she apologizes for making his day more difficult and he, rather genuinely it appears, tries to shut down her apologies. He clearly does love this woman. Martha goes on to tell him how he was “magnificent” today. Yes, blow smoke up his ass – that’s just what he needs to hear. Novick isn’t around to laugh mirthlessly so I’ll do it for him. Me and a few million other 24 loyalists. Suddenly, his cell phone rings (I don’t think Presidents carry around cell phones in real life the way they do on this show) and it’s Henderson. Logan, again not very smoothly, tries to get some privacy from Martha who doesn’t understand. He gets snippy and takes the call – while still in her presence – and completes it without really giving anything away. So why get all demanding of privacy? Who knows.

Speaking of cell phones, Jack gets a call prior to the bank shenanigans, from Aaron Pierce. We know it’s from Aaron Pierce because we see Jack’s cell phone readout says “Aaron Pierce.” So let me ask this: when did he get Aaron’s cell number? Did he program it in when he was at the retreat just in case? And wasn’t Jack using a Sony Treo earlier and even in the last hour? With all the funky things it can do, it doesn’t have phone capabilities? So Jack has to schlep around a cell phone and a PDA? Not very efficient. And when is Jack going to join the 21st century and get a Bluetooth?

Anyway, Aaron warns him that a warrant has been issued for him, which Jack coolly takes in stride. He tells Aaron that the Prez is culpable for today’s events and that he’s going to bring in Secretary Heller on the evidence. When Aaron asks if there’s anything he can do, Jack tells him to watch his back. Thankful that this is what he wanted to do anyway, Aaron doesn’t give Jack any more time to think up other, more dangerous, things for him to do and signs off.

Over at CTU, “Miles finds Audrey on the satellite.” I’m assuming they mean he finds her using the satellite because if she’s “on” the satellite, well, then she’d be an astronaut. But I digress. Shari the sexual harassment queen pings to Chloe that she’s locked out of satellite usage which Chloe they realizes is the satellite that’s tracking Audrey. I still don’t get how looking at a satellite image tells Chloe that it’s Audrey unless she can tell based on location but whatever.

What happens next amused me. Chloe goes to the server room and “corrupts” the satellite feed that Miles and Hayes are beaming to Blonde Agent in her SUV. Miles traces this to the server, making me think of all those stupid Dell server commercials. Miles also notices Chloe isn’t at her terminal and he goes off in search of her. Just when you think he’s going to find her in the server room, she pops out of the pooper. Miles asks her what she was doing and Chloe responds just beautifully, not appearing suspicious but instead appearing pissed off that someone would ask that question as a female comes out of the pisser. Chloe sarcastically offers to write him a report. I’d be careful there, Chloe. Miles seems like the kind of twisted pervert who would want details on whether or not any of your turds resembled him. Throughout this scene, there’s a funky James Bond-ish tune playing in the background, a bit different than other ones we’ve heard before and pretty cool, I have to say.

We wrap up the episode with the firefight at the bank. LAPD sends a whopping one car to the scene of what they are procedurally supposed to assume is a bank robbery and the cops, armed with shotguns jump out. They proceed to fire shotguns at men with machine guns. You could have guessed how this was going to turn out. Fortunately, the National Guard shows up (although the Fox site says it’s a “Marine transport”) and mows down Henderson’s Henchies. But as Jack, Wayne and Bank are escaping, Jack chooses not to quietly slip away but instead to shoot at them with his pistol, thereby drawing attention to them. Unarmed, unnamed, Bank Manager is nailed in the chest as they piled into the running police cruiser. Jack speeds away, having now driven Evelyn’s car, Henderson’s car, Bank’s car and the cruiser in the past hour. I wonder if he moves the seat forward every time.

The upshot is that they do escape but Bank is dead. Jack calls Audrey and lets her know they’re on their way to the airport to meet her and Heller. I’m not sure this is a good idea – potentially leading killers to meet the Secretary of Defense. But whatever. It looks like Devane will be involved in at least the next couple of episodes and I think that’s going to be great.

So what is the threat to the public now? I guess there is none. Basically, it’s now a spy versus spy between Jack and Henderson in a race to see who can get the evidence exposed (Jack) or destroyed (Henderson). Is this how we’re going to spend the last seven hours? Or is there something more sinister brewing that maybe even Logan isn’t aware of? Bierko is still alive, don’t forget. Well, at least he is for now. He is at the CTU Death Clinic, after all.

I already questioned our missing Novick. What about Curtis? We haven’t seen him since the first minutes of Hour Sixteen. Is he still cleaning up the mess at Wilshire Gas? Or was he fired along with the rest of CTU? Maybe Curtis and Buchanan are having a beer at a strip club. Wouldn’t that be great?